When God Is Running Late

I thought God would’ve been here by now. Why is He taking so long? Why won’t He help us? Why can’t we just catch a break? I did what He asked and now He’s silent. We’re about to lose everything and God is silent!

These are just some of the things I thought one night in April 2017 as I put the last of our money into a lotto machine. I was so scared and trying to be so strong. I was trying to have faith yet, falling apart. I was sitting in the Giant grocery store parking lot at 2 am, scratching tickets. If we could just get the $2000 we needed, we’d be okay. My pregnant belly was pretty quiet, as Hazel must’ve been asleep. As I scratched the last ticket I was filled with dread. There was nothing left to do. We tried everything we could. We prayed every prayer we could in both faith and desperation and still, nothing. Tomorrow, which was now today, was here and we had no bargaining chip. Around 10 am we were going to court to be evicted.

Just 8 months before this, we had stepped out in faith. God told me to become a stay at home mom. It was pure faith to do this because, it was the worst time to actually do this. We had no plan, no savings, and no back up plan for the non existent first plan. All we had was God asking us to do something and the choice to be obedient or not. Well, we were obedient and nothing went our way. It felt at times like the universe was against us. I continually wrestled with satan trying to convince me that even God was against us. On that April night, it was hard not to believe that.

So what do you do when it feels like God hasn’t shown up when He was supposed to? What do you do when the deadline has passed and heaven’s given no response? Let’s look at 1 Samuel 13.

In this chapter King Saul is waiting on the priest and prophet Samuel. Samuel had told him he would be there in 7 days and to wait for his arrival. Saul at this time had his entire army waiting to attack the Philistines and they were outnumbered. Each moment Samuel tarried, Saul lost some of his troops by desertion. Finally, Saul decided to take matters into his own hands and sacrifice the burnt offering himself. Verse 10 says, “Just as Saul was finishing with the burnt offering, Samuel arrived…” Samuel immediately questions Saul about what he’s done and Saul responds in verses 11 and 12, …“I saw my men scattering from me, and you didn’t arrive when you said you would, and the Philistines are at Micmash ready for battle. So I said, ‘The Philistines are ready to march against us at Gilgal, and I haven’t even asked for the Lord ’s help!’ So I felt compelled to offer the burnt offering myself before you came.”

In April 2017, I was Saul. I was out at 2am, pregnant and alone in a car hoping to win some money through the lottery. I had taken to these measures because God didn’t show up when I thought He’d show up. In that moment I couldn’t believe there could be any other possible solution for our problem. We would get the money and stay in the home we loved. I let the thought of further desertion of family and friends, pressure me into choices I knew were not God’s will. I looked for every other solution except the one God gave me which was to, wait. Wait on Him and let Him show us what we were to do.

In verses 13 and 14 Samuel let’s Saul know exactly what his actions were. “'How foolish!” Samuel exclaimed. “You have not kept the command the Lord your God gave you. Had you kept it, the Lord would have established your kingdom over Israel forever. But now your kingdom must end, for the Lord has sought out a man after his own heart. The Lord has already appointed him to be the leader of his people, because you have not kept the Lord ’s command.” Saul’s sin of disobedience cost him his kingdom. God would replace him with a man after his own heart. Someone that would listen. Someone that wouldn’t let God’s will be an afterthought or last resort. We know that man was David.

As I got back to our apartment that night filled with despair, my husband greeted me. He was worried that I’d been gone so long and worried about the hearing too. We prayed and I tried to go to bed. I don’t think I actually slept a wink. All I could think was we would lose our place and how could I possibly tell anybody that. How could I possibly confess we were evicted and that not make me look like an irresponsible person? I’ve got a young child and one on the way. I have a nursing degree. I have the ability to make good money. Yet, here we are, on food stamps and going to food banks living in poverty. Now we are about to be on the street. How do I explain this now that God hasn’t shown up to spare us?

The answer is I don’t have to explain it. I don’t owe man the explanation. Like King Saul, my first obligation is to God and He asked me to be obedient. Obedience doesn’t guarantee ease. It doesn’t guarantee roses. It does not ensure I won’t have any problems. It doesn’t guarantee I won’t be misunderstood, deserted, or even talked about. What it does ensure is that He will never leave me nor forsake me. (Deuteronomy 31:6,Hebrews 13:5) When I am obedient, though I feel alone, I am never truly alone. Job 13:15 says “'Though He slay me, I will hope in Him…” Did God really slay Job? Did God really slay me? No. But sometimes it feels like it. Sometimes God’s silence feels like He’s killing us or out to get us but the truth is, He always has our good in mind. Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” Who’s purpose? His. Not my plan and not my will. I stick to His plan and His purpose and eventually I will see how He caused it to work out for my good.

Now two years later I see how God worked the eviction out for our good. I couldn’t see it at 2am desperate in a parking lot but, two years later I do. God used an extreme measure to move us to another state because an extreme measure was necessary to get us to go. It’s not that He wanted us to lose our home. He had another home for us. We can hold so tightly to what we know that we can’t imagine anything better than what we know. God is so much greater than our small thinking. He is such a lavish God but also, such a lavish Father!

Finally back to the original questions. What do you do when it feels like God hasn’t shown up when He was supposed to? What do you do when the deadline has passed and heaven’s given no response? Wait and be obedient. Waiting isn’t pleasant. For lack of a better term, it sucks! Waiting challenges our very nature and left unchecked, we can be reckless just to end our waiting. Nevertheless, God is always on time. The key is to remember that God sets the time. He is always on time for the time He appointed and the time He appointed is always the right time. That doesn’t mean it won’t hurt. That doesn’t mean we won’t sweat. However, He will work it out for our good which means He has our good in mind. God cares about our troubles. He cares about our problems. As we do our part and walk in obedience, watch Him work it all out.