Time For A Filter Check

Currently I’ve been rereading the book of Proverbs. I must confess, I’ve been struggling with it. Other times I’ve read it, I couldn’t put it down. I’d let out a “Oh this is so good!”, “Who am I kidding, I’m gonna highlight the whole thing!”, and even the coveted old church lady “Well!” accompanied by the hand wave! However this time, all I’ve been feeling is inner turmoil. I’m conscious that there is an internal struggle going on as I read through it this time. This morning I figured it out. I’m having a filter problem.

Often when we read we make associations. We think about someone we know around that same age or people who have similar traits and features. For me, when I read news stories involving little children I think of my own or other friends who have kids the same age. We often make associations that make the story more real and meaningful. This can be a helpful and powerful tool. Yet, I realize it can sometimes be a dangerous approach to scripture if our filter isn’t right.

As I’ve been reading Proverbs this time I’ve been making associations but, finding myself picking out ones that contradict the verses. This has been building up to a tug about whether or not I truly believe it. Let me say that this type of unsettled feeling on scripture isn’t wrong, it’s human. It is healthy to think about what and why you believe something. Our response or actions while we contemplate and reflect, is what can make or break us.

You are probably well aware of prominent believers that have recently and very publicly, renounced their faith. I don’t profess to have all the answers regarding this. I don’t personally know them or their story. Scripture is very clear that man sees the outward but, He sees the heart. (1 Samuel 16:7) Only He knows the full story. Despite that fact, we can still learn from and draw lines in our own spiritual sand. I can and will speak for my personal resolution to my grapple with Proverbs.

Eventually, I prayed about it. I brought my beef to the Lord. I admitted to God that I’m viewing His scriptures through the wrong filter. I’m using a worldly filter. I see this celebrity with all this money and lasting “happiness” so, how can this verse be true? I’m using a personal experience filter. What about that time we really struggled and suffered? How can this verse be true? I’m using a grapevine filter. A friend told me this and that happened to their friend’s friend’s cousin. How can this verse be true? Using the wrong filter will always leave room for doubt, suspicion, and can draw you away from the powerful truth that the word of God is the ultimate truth and infallible.

I was in my office this morning, the bathroom, and had a truthful conversation with the One who is Truth. I confessed my struggle to the Lord and asked Him to change me. I didn’t pray a long prayer. I didn’t spend half of it beating myself up and the other begging for forgiveness. I simply confessed I’ve been looking at these scriptures through a tainted filter and help me to use the right one. Help me to understand Proverbs. Help me to stop being a skeptic and a critic. Help me to not use a worldly filter. I know Your word is truth so, why am I not believing it right now? Then a beautiful thing happened. I went back to reread the areas I struggled with so I could write examples for this devotional and I couldn’t find them! The verses I had been reading with a helping of “side eye” were gone. I literally couldn’t find those verses that had made me question my beliefs! Instead as I kept reading I was back to “God this is some good stuff!”

I know I don’t have all the answers to why people fall away or the in and outs of Christian paradoxes in these last days. Though I will step out on the ledge and say this: If you find yourself questioning your beliefs, tell God! We sometimes think He already knows so why bother or He somehow will disown us for having these feelings. God wants us to bring everything to Him big or small, good or bad, joyous or uncomfortable, including those things that will expose our weaknesses and shortcomings or the weaknesses and shortcomings we think God has. Don’t be reluctant to tell Him. Race don’t walk, towards Him. I believe the longer we hesitate the more opportunity we give the devil to widen the gap. The longer I avoid God the harder it can feel to come back. Tactics of the enemy! He wants us fearful and ashamed so we stay away! Don’t fall for it. I’m so happy this morning I didn’t. My issue got resolved because I brought it to the Problem Solver.

Moreover this doesn’t mean your experience will play out like mine. However, I know you will get an answer. I fully believe at times our problems and questions concerning God remain, because we give up too quickly. Jeremiah 29:13 says “If you look for Me wholeheartedly, you will find Me.” It’s possible we aren’t actually searching hard enough or willing to confront the ugliness of our heart that’s exposed while we look. We need to aim to commit to God as much as He’s committed to us. He expressed that commitment eternally through sacrificing His own Son.

Nevertheless if you still feel too torn up to directly tell God the struggle, confess it to another believer. Sometimes a physical ear is the confidence boost needed to approach God’s invisible ear. I don’t believe God is offended by this.

I sum up all this to say that sometimes we need a filter check. Sometimes we need to be honest about our own humanity. Be honest but, don’t stay there. Direct that honesty to God and let His truth be the answer to that honesty.