Wants And Needs.

What I wanted more than anything this morning was to turn around, leave the room, and go back to bed. What my daughter Hazel needed was, to be cleaned up. As I went innocently into my kids room this morning, I was happy everyone was in one piece. No tears and no screams. I emptied Daisy's potty chair and took her to the bathroom. When I came back, I saw it. Hazel seemed to have her hands smeared with chocolate! Ins't that what every parent hopes it is?! Sadly, no. It was poop! A whole lot of poop!

I quickly assessed the damage and how to handle this. Run bath water. Get soapy paper towels. Get baby away from crime scene. Start washer. Pick up (gag!) the poop (more gags). Stay calm. Don't scream in frustration at Hazel.

As I walked out my plan step by step, I started singing. I sang a song I hadn't sang in years if not a decade. I didn't realize I still knew the words but, isn't that what the Holy Spirit does? Gives you what you need when you need it and you have know idea how you got it! I ended up breaking out a Hillsong goodie, Jesus lover of my soul.

Jesus, lover of my soul

Jesus, I will never let You go

You've taken me from the miry clay

You've set my feet upon the rock

And now I know

I love you

I need you

Though my world may fall

I'll never let You go

My Savior

My closest Friend

I will worship You until the very end

The irony of the "from the miry clay", was not lost on me! I paused and quickly said "Very funny God!". However I found myself repeating the lines, "I love You. I need You. Though my world may fall I'll never let You go." I need You Jesus. Right now.

Wants and needs. A lot of life comes down to wants and needs. In that moment I wanted to not have to deal with this morning. I wanted it to be someone else’s problem. What I needed was Jesus. I needed Him to equip me to be patient with my daughter, address the behavior but, not break her spirit. I needed Jesus to help me to parent through this moment.

Parenting many times, is a dichotomy of wants and needs. What I want to do is not always what my child needs. I wanted to go back to bed but, my daughter needed to be cleaned up and bathed. I wanted to not deal with my oldest daughter's hair this morning. I didn't want to hear her blood curdling screams and wrestle with products, hair ties, and brushes. What my daughter needed was, her hair done. I wanted to dress the baby quickly after her bath and move on to the next thing; my second unscheduled bath this morning. What she needed was to be comforted as she cried hysterically. What I needed to do and did, was wrap her snug in the towel and nurse her. I needed to slow down and be her comfort. Wants and needs.

As parents we wrestle with a constant battle of our wants and their needs. In many ways, this tug of war mimics the war with the flesh. Parenting is dying to our flesh. What the flesh wants isn't always what the flesh needs or it's not the right time to get it. What Rena wants to do this moment, isn't always what Daisy, Hazel, or Olive need so Rena, needs to wait. Rena wants to sit and watch HGTV. Rena's kids need her to do the laundry. Rena wants to ignore her daughter's explosive angry outburst. Rena’s child needs her to not ignore it and teach her how to handle those emotions so, she's not a 30 year old with a violent temper. Sometimes the pay off to the needs we address are not instantaneous. Sometimes we don't see the victory in dying to our flesh until later so, don't let that influence you to give up.

Right now there is peace in the Wilkins home. The Poopnado is over! My kids are playing like nothing even went down this morning. Nevertheless, I remember. I remember and am reminded how much I need Jesus. Even when I don't think I want Jesus, I need Jesus. Wants and needs.