Stop Apologizing!

Recently someone commented on how close in age my kids were and before I knew it, I found myself giving an explanation. “Well Daisy was planned but, the others were our surprise blessings.” Immediately I was filled with conviction and regret. I asked the Lord to help me stop apologizing. Stop explaining. I don’t owe them that and I shouldn’t downplay or dismiss God’s blessings to me.

When were about to dedicate my last baby Olive, I asked Him for a word for the ceremony. He spoke that “Olive was on loan to us.” God had put Olive in our care and that was an honor. She wasn’t really ours, but God’s. We needed to value and cherish what He loaned us. Ephesians 6:1 backs up this premise. “Children, obey your parents because you belong to the Lord, for this is the right thing to do.”

‭Children belong to the Lord. They are loaned to us. They are a temporary gift. So why do I find myself downplaying these gifts?

This spirit of apology isn’t just for people with children close in age, large families, all girls, all boys, or any other make up, it trickles over into spiritual gifts and callings. Someone compliments us on our ability to play an instrument, sing, preach or teach and we immediately find a way to downplay it. I’m not suggesting we walk around with oversized heads and walk in pride. What I’m saying is don’t esteem lightly the gifts God has given you. Cherish them. Value them. Don’t be dismissive of them and stop apologizing for them. Find an answer that takes humility in account but, also acknowledges the goodness of God and task He set for you. We all have a task given by God, a purpose and plan that’s unique to us. He equips us to walk that plan out. Don’t apologize for what God has equipped you with to be successful.

I’ve had time to process, think, and talk with the Holy Spirit on how I should respond to people’s comments on my kids. When people point out how close in age they are I can simply say how much I enjoy it. Yes it’s difficult. Yes it gets overwhelming, especially having two in diapers but, most moments I’m truly happy. I enjoy watching them play together, grow together, be each other’s friend, and teach each other. I always felt like an only child because of the large age gap between my sister and I. I feel like God gave back what I felt I lost or missed out on. Moreover, I believe my kids have learned compassion and patience faster by virtue of being close in age and having multiple siblings. I’ve seen so much empathy from my 3 year old because she has a 2 year old sister and almost 10 month old sister. When they cry, I’ve seen her cry. Isn’t that a picture of God’s response to our hurt and pain? My kids help illuminate God’s character. I pray that God helps me to highlight this to commenters. God help me to express how I wouldn’t change a thing. My kids are exactly what I need.

On a final note. To those that may have had children in ways they didn’t intend, relationships that didn’t last, circumstances that weren’t God’s original plan, to you I also say stop apologizing! Children are a blessing no matter how they originated. What God has forgiven and placed under the blood requires no further explanation. People can be quick to judge and make you feel like you need to do penance because people like to embrace God as judge but, not God as love or merciful. I am the product of a single mother, broken home, and fatherless home. God has healed all of those areas. I don’t owe an explanation. I only owe a testimony. Our testimonies glorify God. Our explanations downplay His power, grace, and kindness. Stop apologizing and start testifying!