Potty Training And Jesus

Potty training my toddler Daisy has been teaching me more about God. Just the other day she was playing, suddenly stopped, and yelled "Mommy!" I knew what that meant. Without thinking, I rushed over, swooped her up and got her to the potty. I don't even remember if we made it in time. I do remember staying silent and asking God what to say to her. I was conscious I could easily say or do the wrong thing in that moment. What I did end up saying was something like "It's okay. Mommy's not mad. You had an accident. We'll try again. " Isn't that the same assurance we need from God our Father? Yet the beauty is, He does give us that assurance.

Had I scolded Daisy for peeing on the floor I could have introduced shame. That shame could've made her want to give up, be scared to fail again, and distorted her perception of me. First off, it's a new skill. In her 3 years (her whole life) she's only known one way to eliminate. I can't expect her to learn a new life long skill in a time that suits me, without factoring in her body's abilities. This then got me thinking about new Christians. For all of their lives they've only lived one way. The bible says we're born sinners. (Ps 51:5, Rom 5:12, Rom 3:23) They've only known sin and how to live in it. Unfortunately we can set unreasonable expectations for new believers and their ability to walk in their new "skill" or life as a Christian. If we aren't careful we can unknowingly shame new believers for not obtaining the progress we think is appropriate. We forget that though salvation can be achieved instantaneously, walking out our salvation is not. It may take months, years, or decades to make headway in certain areas of our lives. I should use discernment and wisdom in calling out new believers.

A wonderful truth is, God never shames us! Shame never produces true repentance or is ever a healthy motivator. Shame produces bondage and God is a bondage breaker! One thing I've always hated is the phrase "Shame on you!" I cringe when I hear it and pray I never utter that phrase in the heat of the moment. The beginning definition of shame is "painful feeling of humiliation or distress...". Synonyms for shame are: humiliation, mortification, and embarrassment. All of these words carry a negative connotation and symbolize experiences we would seek to avoid. Shame brings pain. So where potty training accidents and dealing with new believers are pulls to introduce shame, they are also great opportunities to promote grace, love, and hope. Grace that it's OK to have accidents. It's okay to make mistakes. We all make mistakes. Love, that I let her know I'm not mad at her and my love is not tied to her performance. Love covers a multitude of sins. (1 Peter 4:8) And finally, hope. I promote hope by encouraging Daisy that she will reach the goal. I give hope to new believers in sharing my testimony and continuing to show them Jesus, who is our hope. (1 Peter 1:1-10)

Lastly, I humbly realize that not only was Daisy not ready to potty train previously, neither was I. I lacked the tools to help her be successful. I look back and see how stressed I was the first two times we attempted this. That stress led to a short fuse and some intolerance towards her accidents. However over 6 months later, I'm in a different place. I'm more relaxed. I have more peace. I have more patience. I have more grace. God has grown me so now I'm not starting out in a deficit. I'm no longer trying to borrow from an empty well. It doesn't mean I don't ever get frustrated and lose my cool. I just look more like Jesus today, then I did 6 months ago. That's the goal. Each day we try to look more like Jesus and act like Jesus.

I end this chuckling a bit. God truly can teach us life lessons in and through everything. He can even use potty training as an opportunity to see His heart as the Father. He can use my daughter's potty training as my teachable moment! What an awesome God we serve!