My Accountability Partner Looks At Me In The Mirror

As I was lying in bed unable to sleep, this idea and message popped into my head. "I need to be my own accountability partner." I need to learn how to hold myself accountable for my actions as I walk this Christian life. I need to learn to check myself and yes, "before I wreck myself! ". :) Now I've definitely given away the era I grew up in! But moving back to a more serious tone, I believe God is longing for us to grasp the concept of self accountability.

Confession time. I know and am aware of my personality traits. I am strong willed, independent, motivated, driven, and the list goes on. However, I am well aware of my flaws too. I'm aware of those things you don't willingly admit about yourself because they aren't your best self. For me, I enjoy the praise of man. Boom! It's in writing now and I can't take it back! I could sit and psychoanalyze myself to find the exact cause or root of it, but I find it ultimately doesn't matter. I won't deceive myself that it doesn't boost my ego to receive a "Good job!", get the pat on the back or have the spotlight. In and of itself those things aren't wrong, but I acknowledge my inner personal longing for it.

There isn't a lot of science needed to know why Facebook likes are called "likes". It feels good to be liked. It feels validating to see someone agrees with you. Click. It feels good to know someone took the time to click the button which means they took the time to give you their time. Click.

Yet because I know the praise of man can be trigger for me, it is an area I need to hold myself accountable. What I have learned to do with facebook is to stop and think before I post. I will give myself time to search my motivation. Am I posting this because I feel a bit down and I think a dose of man's praise will boost me? Am I posting something simply because it was funny to me and someone else might get a chuckle too. Am I posting this to look spiritual? Do I want people to read this and gush over my seemingly perfect walk with God? Is God telling me to post this now or wait? Do I want to post this now just because more people will see it? Is my anxiousness to post genuine excitement for what God has shown me or a hunger to get a comment? Do I feel that sharing this will really benefit someone? There are even times I post and then quickly take it down because I realize my motivation was off. These are real questions I ask myself and things I've done because the flesh is real! Matthew 26:41 says the spirit is willing, but our flesh is weak. I acknowledge my weaknesses to reduce it's power and endgame to ultimately overpower my spirit. I hold myself and ultimately I hold my flesh accountable.

When I was a student at Elim Bible Institute, we had accountability groups. Every term there were ones popping up. I think at the time you may argue they were a fad. However, I realized their power and I was in one. It is absolutely a biblical concept. James 5:16 NLT says "Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results." The KJV version says to confess your "faults" to one another. There is power in brothers and sisters holding each other accountable. There is restoration and healing that can come from holding each other accountable. However, there is also something special and unique about being you're own accountability partner as well.

Now I keep saying that; being my own accountability partner, but what does that really mean? It means simply holding yourself accountable for what the Bible says you're accountable for. Again it is wonderful to be in a godly group, but we need to be real. A group can't always be there. I will at some point be alone. There won't always be someone available to tap me on the shoulder and stop me before I do the wrong thing. At 3am when I'm alone I need to know how not to give into temptation. When I'm isolated and no one will see what I'm doing, how can I still live a life worthy to God? That's a real truth for many, myself included as a stay at home mom. You are spending large chunks of time alone, so how do you stay accountable? I'm going to focus on three ways to be self accountable.

1. Get God's word inside.

How did I know longing for man's praise versus God's was an issue or wrong? The Bible. In Galatians 1:10 Paul says "Obviously, I'm not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ's servant." Trying to gain man's approval draws us away from Christ. Christ's approval should be my goal not man's.

Additionally, I see the destructive nature of living for approval through the lives of people in the Bible. I always come to back to King Saul as my number 1 example. He was given so much by God and lost it all. A big running theme in his life was that he liked man's praise and enjoyed the spotlight more than obedience to God. In the end, his life acts as a warning.

Psalm 119:11 says "I have hidden your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you." God's word reveals to us what is right and what is wrong. Yet, it goes beyond just right and wrong. We can use God's word to gain the strength to be accountable and successful in those moments of weakness. I use the example of Jesus in the wilderness and satan tempting Him a lot, but it's because it's so powerful. Jesus Himself went through temptation and did not sin. He was fully God and fully man so we would be able to do what He did. He was fully man so we wouldn't get discouraged and think this Christian life is impossible. No. Jesus defeated satan. He defeated satan in the wilderness quoting God's word.

Maybe your vice isn't man's praise. Maybe it's things you watch or are drawn to watch. Psalm 101:3 says " I refuse to look at anything vile and vulgar. I hate all who deal crookedly; I will have nothing to do with them." That scripture gives direction but, also contains power to defeat satan's temptations by quoting it. In the midst of temptation, just like Jesus, we can be self accountable.

2. Utilize the power of prayer.

In the simplest term, prayer is talking to God. Forget having to use flowery, holy sounding, dramatic words and just talk. And get your stones ready... You don't even have to clean up your language! Don't let sounding perfect or less "sinful", stop you from talking / praying to God. Prayer gives strength because we're calling on the Source of strength. Going back to the verse I quoted earlier, the last piece of James 5:16 says in the ESV "...The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working." Christ has made us righteous (2 Corinthians 5:21) and because that righteousness is anchored to Christ, I am not less righteous as I'm being tempted, struggling with sin, or falling short. That means God will hear my prayers as that righteous person of James 5:16, and it will have power! Holding myself accountable can be done effectively through prayer.

3. Examine my motivation.

Be willing to be open and honest with yourself. For as much as we like to present only our best self to others, be truthful there's some gunk in there. Jeremiah 17:9 says "The heart is more deceitful than all else and is desperately sick; Who can understand it?" We are born prone to corruption. When we accept Christ we are changed, and take on His nature, but it still remains a battle. It's not a once and done and we'll never struggle with or sin again. No. Romans 12:2 says the "renewing of our minds". It's an ongoing process. The flesh won't go down without a fight and it seeks to corrupt every part including our minds and hearts. Instead of avoiding the gunk and ungodliness that may be looming, confront it. Like I said earlier, I pause before I post. I stop and search my heart and/or my motivation before I click. I am willing to acknowledge an area of weakness and face it head on. Avoidance never wins victory. Truth does. I can't conquer and get victory over what I won't acknowledge. Truth sets us free. (John 8:32) Examining my motivation holds myself accountable.

I'm excited to step into this idea of self accountability and being my own accountability partner. I see it as getting real and standing in truth. The world has accused the church of not being authentic and I won't disagree with that. I believe the disconnect partly comes from being scared or unwilling to be real, raw, and admit we are not perfect. We don't have it all figured out and that's exactly why we need Jesus! In being my own accountability partner I've identified areas I struggle with. Know it's okay to struggle. It's simply a sign we're human. I often say to myself "progress not perfection". It helps me to not be so focused on not making mistakes that I actually revert back to legalism. If I keep a skewed view of perfection (lack of mistakes) as my goal, I've already shot myself in the foot. Grace is always there not only for my brother or sister, but for myself. Our flesh is waging a real war. How I respond to that struggle will determine the outcome. I chose to hold myself accountable for my actions, my responses, and my thoughts. By reading and using the Bible, prayer, and examining my motivation I can be successful. I hold myself accountable.