Jabez Is My Name And Sorrow’s My Game!

I remember when the prayer of Jabez became popular in Christian circles. It suddenly was everywhere and printed on everything. For all intents and purposes I get leery when I see things like this. I’ve always been an anti bandwagon person. It’s my strong willed personality. If everyone decides that going to the left is the best, I immediately wanna go right. If everyone starts wearing blue shirts with white stripes, I’m wearing yellow! I’ve always been a person who never wanted to conform. Now that’s good and bad and I definitely recognize that. So when the prayer of Jabez became a “thing”, I immediately was like let me just skip over this section. Well recently, it was my devotional reading.

“There was a man named Jabez who was more honorable than any of his brothers. His mother named him Jabez because his birth had been so painful. He was the one who prayed to the God of Israel, “Oh, that you would bless me and expand my territory! Please be with me in all that I do, and keep me from all trouble and pain!” And God granted him his request.”

‭‭1 Chronicles‬ ‭4:9-10‬ ‭NLT‬‬

A few things stuck out to me as important reflecting on these scriptures and the chapter. Our words can direct destinies and God can redirect destinies.

Let’s look at what caused Jabez to pray what he did. Jabez’s mother named him Jabez because her labor had been so painful. His name means "he makes sorrowful". Can you imagine that? As a mother, every time you call your child “Sorrow. Sorrow where are you? Come here sorrow.” She had brief pain. I know many women would disagree but, labor has an expiration. Labor only lasts for a moment compared to our lifetime and our children’s lifetime. Sometimes what we speak in pain is not a true representation of how we feel, will feel, or can feel. It’s why we shouldn’t make big decisions while we’re hurt, angry, or depressed. The cloud covering us distorts what truly is going on. In this mom’s pain all she saw was her pain and she projected that onto her newborn. Instead of him coming out as a gift, he became a curse. This is why it’s so important to watch and guard our words.

The words this mother spoke to her son through his name followed him. It followed him to the point that his prayer is really asking God to undo all that has come with his name. “Bless me and expand my territory “. Sorrow usually hangs alone. No one wants to be around sorrow and if you do attract people, it’s usually more members for the pity party. More to wallow with you and not encourage you.

“Please be with me in all that I do...” Sorrow is lonely thing. To live and dwell with sorrow is be cut off. Jabez asked God to be with him. When God is with us we are never truly alone. Deuteronomy 31:8 says “The LORD is the one who goes ahead of you; He will be with you. He will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed." (NASB) God time and time again has assured He won’t leave us alone, we don’t have to fear, we don’t have to be discouraged. When God is with us, sorrow no longer has a place.

Finally, Jabez ends his prayer with “and keep me from all trouble and pain!” God undo what my mother did. Words shape destinies. We don’t know how old Jabez was when he prayed this nevertheless, he carried the weight of his mother’s words all his life. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have prayed to break it’s power.

I am very cautious with what I call my kids even beyond their given names. I realize even pet names or names spoken in fun, can all positively or negatively impact them. I make a conscious distinction between saying “you are” and “you are acting like”. They seem similar yet, they aren’t. When I speak “you are” I am saying this is what you are. If I say “You are stupid, silly, clumsy, ugly, fat, lazy, foolish”, I am speaking it over them and making room for them to believe it. Those words can change the course they were on. Where they might have wanted to try out for a club, go to college, or help out at church now, they think they’re too stupid to do it. Why bother? However when I say “You are acting foolish, stupid or lazy”, I am pointing out a temporary action with an opportunity to change. “I know you aren’t this but, you’re current actions are saying you are. What do we need to do about this? How can you do better?” There’s a big difference. One is spoken as closed fact and the other makes room for a conversation. I can negatively or positively shape my child’s destiny through my words. I don’t want my kids decades later praying for God to undo the seeds I planted.

This isn’t only for our kids. You can insert just about anyone we encounter. What defining words am I speaking over my spouse, family, coworkers, neighbors, the cashier at the grocery store, the waiter that got my order wrong, the guy that cut me off on the expressway. Take Psalm 141:3 to heart “Set a guard over my mouth, LORD; keep watch over the door of my lips.” Things we speak can’t always be easily taken back. Ask for God’s help to guard what leaves your mouth.

Lastly, God answered Jabez. He gave him what he asked. God can change destinies. God writes second, third, and fourth acts. What we’ve gone through and the hand we were dealt don’t have to determine the rest of our lives. In a moment, just by one prayer, God can step in. Never underestimate the power of a God who hears and also speaks. God hears us and He also speaks to us. He speaks in many ways and a large part is through scripture. When we hear those negative destiny shaping words, go to scripture and find out what God really thinks and says. When we’re told we are stupid quote Psalm 37:30 “The mouths of the righteous utter wisdom, and their tongues speak what is just.” Then you could pray something like: “God I thank you that I am righteous and wisdom will come forth. I am not stupid. You are making me wise. I thank you that people will start to seek my advice as I continue to follow after you!” Fight words of death with words of life. Fight with scripture. God has made our identity and destiny abundantly clear through His word. Jabez knew what his mother spoke over him is not how God saw him.