Fight Through Your Struggle

This past Saturday I was blessed to share part of my testimony at a women's retreat. I entitled my message “Your struggles have a purpose”. Now when I say it turned into a struggle to get to and through the event, there’s no exaggeration.

I woke up that morning to intense pain; stomach cramping and a right sided pulsating pain. It was a prayer journey to get through my shower. As I tried to get dressed it briefly crossed my mind about staying home. I had at least an hour and a half drive alone to the event. I pressed through and had my husband Steve pray with me before I left. I figured I’d stop for gas and get some crackers and ginger ale.

As I left the gas station popping Tums like candy, the pain got worse. Just 20 minutes later I was desperately looking for the next rest area. I made it in time to the bathroom before vomiting the one cracker I was able to choke down along with the sleeve of Tums I had. I knew I was under attack. Not by some virus or bug I caught, but by the devil himself. I frantically sent some messages for prayer and prayed best I could for strength.

What was an hour and a half trip turned into 3 hours. As I finally reached my destination, I felt no better. I walked in to see smiling welcoming faces. The women were so gracious seeing I didn’t feel good, waiting on me hand and foot.

The conference didn’t go how I planned. I spent all free time and meal time traveling from the couch to the bathroom. I got more prayer and tried to go over my notes before my turn to speak. The more I read my notes, the more determined I became. God brought me there and He’d see me through this.

Finally it was my turn to speak and amazingly the pain ceased. Not one throbbing or pulsating side pain. No cramping. No feeling of needing to urinate for the 30th time. No feeling that instead of words coming out it’d be what little was left in my stomach. I was able to share everything God laid on my heart to say.

I realize today, giving my testimony was not solely for others to hear. It wasn’t to get up there to toot my own horn and draw a spotlight to myself either. God placed me in that place Saturday to publicly declare my victory and I wasn’t backing down!

John 10:10 says “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” For over 2 years we've been going through this storm and the devil has tried to steal, kill, and destroy my victory. One of the lines I absolutely had to deliver from my message was “I can confidently say we are still in a storm season, but there is deliverance coming!” As I spoke those words I realized I truly believed those words and needed to confess them publicly. It’s one thing to be at home alone and speak words of faith and curse the devil and plead the blood, but when you publicly declare something, those words are out there forever. You can’t grab them back and erase their existence. There is power and symbolism in “confession”. If you confess with your mouth Jesus is Lord…(Romans 10:9). If we confess our sins He is faithful to forgive us…(1John 1:9). Therefore confess your sins to one another…(James 5:16). Why so much emphasis on speaking or confession? Because of Genesis chapter 1. And God said…and then there was. And God said…and then there was. God set a precedent from the foundation of creation that you speak first and then see it come to pass. Faith first, then it’s physical manifestation.

I thanked God for letting me speak because I was putting the devil on notice that not only was I not throwing in the towel, but I believed I would see the physical manifestation of my promises. I was publicly declaring before those sisters, what would happen one day. I will not throw in the towel. No aches in my body, no set backs in relationships, no lack of finances, no nothing will get me to doubt God’s promises for my life and my family’s future. It was the rejuvenation I needed.

I traveled back home that day with the pain only worsening. By the time I made it to the couch I wondered if I’d need an ER visit. Suddenly it dawned on me, it was a kidney stone. I forced myself to guzzle water and pray it stayed down. By midnight it passed and I was even more certain it was a spiritual attack. Who gets a less than 24 hour kidney stone?! But stone or no stone, realize the devil is actively trying to throw arrows, darts, and boulders into your life. He seeks to stop you from continuing to believe God’s promises. But why?

Doubt is one of the devil’s biggest schemes. When he appeared to Adam and Eve in the garden his first advantage came when he got Eve to doubt what God had said. She doubted the promise God laid out for their security, protection, and good. When Ishmael came before the promised son Isaac, it was because Abraham and Sarah allowed themselves to doubt the promise would come the way God said it would come. Resist the temptation to improvise on His promises.

Satan tries to get us to doubt the promises God has spoken, what the bible says and what our spirit knows is true. Don’t let him win. Fight back though your tears, through your pain, through your struggle. Fight using the word, by praise and worship, and through the confession of your mouth. Just as I said confidently my deliverance is coming, one day it will actually be present in the here and now! I know one day I will be sharing my testimony of how God ended my season of struggle.