Don’t Flippin’ Touch Me!

I’ve been a stay at home mom for the last 2 1/2 years. Ever since my oldest was 6 months old. Anyone who is or has been a stay at home parent, knows the joy but also the struggle. Today was no exception to the struggle.

I finally got some overdue cleaning done today. Now finished, I drew my attention to the sleepy baby waiting in her bouncer. The plan was to feed her and decompress. Nursing can be as much peaceful as it is necessary. I can also usually relax for a bit because my older two comprehend, “Baby’s gotta eat!”. They usually busy themselves with something. I emphasize, “usually”.

However as I sat with the baby and a sigh of relief, the unthinkable happened. The other two came over! They insisted on being as close as humanly possible to me. I could feel my body tensing, my blood starting to boil and my patience waining. “You can’t just give me this one thing?!” I thought to myself. I tried to gather my composure before I audibly lost it. I silently prayed and asked God why I was getting so mad. Why was my reaction so extreme in this moment? He didn’t answer my why, but He did answer.

Immediately following, I put the baby in her crib, and then came back out like a goofball. I chased them and tickled them. I embraced them and kissed them. I squeezed them and told them I loved them. It was the opposite expression from what had been building just moments ago. So what exactly did God show me?

He showed me that my kids not only need me, but they like me! They like being around me. They like being in my presence. I am a comfort to them. I am stability to them. In moments when they’re scared, lonely, bored, or uneasy, I am a hiding place and a safe place for them to be near. Isn’t that what God is to us? Isn’t that what God wants to be for us?

When my oldest curled up to me and everything within me wanted to push her away, she was actually expressing her heart. Her heart said “I can go to and be near mommy.” She had no fear of me pushing her away. She had no fear of me flipping out on her. She doesn’t have an unhealthy fear of me. It should be no different with God. We fear Him reverently, but we don’t fear Him as an out of control or abusive Father. When we just need to be close to Him, He will never shut us out or turn us away. Just like my kids call out “Mommy!” with hands raised, I can call out “Daddy!” with hands raised. He will pick me up. He will love on me. He will fill me with joy and laughter. He will calm my fears.

If you need closeness today, God is close. God is willing. James 4:8 says “Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you…”

Psalm 145:18

“The LORD is near to all who call upon Him, To all who call upon Him in truth.”

Psalm 73:28 “But as for me, how wonderful to be near God, to find protection with the Sovereign Lord and to proclaim all that he has done!”

We may feel the Lord is far, but He is actually very close. We may think He will explode on us or lose His temper if we turn to Him for affection and affirmation. He won’t. God will never tell us “Don’t flippin touch me!” like I almost told my kids today. God has no bad moments. God is always willing and waiting for us to curl up next to Him. He is our safe place!