Don't Be Such A Balaam!

God may let us carry through with something, not because it is His perfect will, but because we are strong willed. Numbers 22-24 shows us an example of this. It is the story of King Balak, Balaam, and his donkey.

Balak was the Moabite king during the time the Israelites were wandering the desert. The children of Israel had been encountering hostility from the rulers of lands they were trying to pass through. Balak had seen what the Israelites did to the Amorites, that came against Israel and were defeated. He decided to send his officials to get Balaam the prophet, to come put a curse on Israel. They promised him great wealth and riches to do this. Balaam wasn’t a false prophet, but his heart wasn’t completely in tune to God.

So what did Balaam do wrong? Balaam went to Moab, but he was never supposed to go. God told him clearly in Numbers 22:12 not to go because Israel is blessed and will not be cursed. However Balaam was still determined to go, being swayed by money and esteem. We see this when the officials returned a second time in Numbers 22:15-18, promising again lots of money. In verse 19 Balaam says “But stay here one more night, and I will see if the Lord has anything else to say to me.” Balaam didn’t need to consult the Lord again. God already gave His answer not to go, but Balaam thought he could still get what he wanted. God then comes to Balaam and tells him to go, but only to speak what He tells him. Balaam goes with the officials and verse 22 says God was mad at Balaam. Well, why? Let’s move on and look at the next verses. In verses 23-35, his donkey sees an angel of the Lord blocking the road and refuses to move past him, but Balaam doesn’t see it. Balaam then beats the donkey trying to get him to go. He berates the donkey for embarrassing him in front of the officials. God allows the donkey to speak and rebuke Balaam. Balaam then sees the angel. The angel tells Balaam he was almost killed if he would’ve past him, but now can go ahead to the king. He warns him again to only speak what God tells him.

So what is going on? Why was Balaam almost killed? For the same reason God was angry with Balaam in verse 22. God told him the first time he asked, not to go. God then gave ‘permission’ for Balaam to pass the angel like He gave him ‘permission’ to go to Moab. It wasn’t because God changed His mind, but because He is merciful. If God did not relent and give permission, God would have to deal harshly with Balaam. Balaam was hiding under the guise of he could only say what God wanted, but he was still going with full knowledge that this king wanted to destroy and harm Israel. That set Balaam up as an enemy. Enemies of Israel would be destroyed. So if God did not provide that “escape clause” for Balaam, he’d most likely be killed.

Isn’t that what God does for us? We know that something we want or someone we want isn’t the Lord’s best. It isn’t His perfect will. But we are often so determined to get what we want that God in a sense puts His hands up and lets us proceed. God is always a Father, wanting only to give us what’s best, but He allows us to figure some things out on our own.

I see this in my strong willed toddler. I can explain to her why not to do something, tell her no several times, but at some point I have to throw my hands up. One such time was her jumping on the couch and doing an acrobatic routine. I kept telling her to stop, disciplining her, and yet she’d be right back up there. Eventually I realized her will to keep doing what she wanted was not going to stand down to my authority. Even though I didn’t want her to get hurt, I had to let her go. It didn’t take long before “splat”, she fell to the floor. I then picked her up and wiped the tears. This is exactly what God does to us. He answers our request, but sometimes it’s not the answer we want. Instead of accepting that, we keep at it. We keep asking and hitting the wall, trying to get God to change His mind. He doesn’t change His mind, but He removes His protection and let’s us go after what we wanted. It ends in disaster. However, in God’s mercy, grace, and love as a Father, He wipes our tears and takes us back.

This is also true of Israel in the Old Testament. God wants to bring them to the promised land. God lays out clear rules and guidelines, but they keep hitting the wall trying to get what they want rather than what they need. God allows them to chase after those things and it always ended in disaster.

Again, we sometimes think well why did God let this or that happen to us. Why did God let me into that bad relationship or situation? Sometimes it’s simply because we were strong willed. We kept trying so hard to get what we wanted and make it happen that God eventually backed away and let us have it. We can’t have God be the Lord of our lives when it’s convenient or just when He’s throwing out yeses. He has to still be Lord, even when the answer is no. He will not continually fight us to remain in control when we’re pushing Him away. Yet, He will immediately be there when we cry out to Him.

My challenge today would be to search your heart and see if you’re being a Balaam. Is there something God has closed the door on, but you are trying to pry it open? Trust me, God has that door closed for a reason. God always seeks to give us His best. His perfect will. Don’t settle for His permissive will. His perfect will is the promised land and His permissive will lets you into the wilderness