Devious Espresso: The Drink That Convicted Me

My birthday always manages to bring out moments of reflection. At church yesterday, my mom gave myself and my husband Steve, Starbucks gift cards. His birthday is just 5 days after mine. To no ones surprise, we stopped at Starbucks after church. He brought up that we should've registered the card first because we get points towards free drinks. And that was my reflection moment trigger. Every year I get a free birthday drink at Starbucks, but never on my actual birthday. Instead of sipping away on a venti sugar loaded concoction every March 17th, I have to wait till the 27th.

Years ago I discovered Starbucks gave out free birthday drinks if you went online and registered. Closer to your birthday they'd email you a code. Unfortunately, my birthday had just passed. Instead of waiting till next year, I just decided to enter a later date instead. I thought my plan was full proof. That was until, it still didn't process in time for me to get the free drink!

Fast forward a year. I'm super excited for my birthday. I'm planning out exactly what I'll do for the day. It included again, my free Starbucks drink. But what to my surprise? It got closer and closer to the 17th and no emails with my free code. Oh! That's right. Remember Rena you changed the date?! I now had 10 gloomy days to wait. What I justified doing earlier, only came back to bite me later. What I justified as a creative way to get what was "owed me" was nothing more than deception. Now every year since then I'm reminded of what I did. No matter what I've tried it won't let me change the date. I just have to wait till my "fake" birthday. Deception always costs us something.

A Starbucks drink conspiracy may seem like a small thing, but small things are usually red flags for larger issues. Think icebergs. They seem small and don't warrant extra caution, but under the surface are mountains of ice ready to sink me. My small quip of dishonesty was merely a larger indicator of what was "brewing" in my heart. Yes. I did say brewing!

The point I want to emphasize is, I was too comfortable with deception which meant I was too comfortable with sin. I had been deceptive for so long that I no longer felt it was wrong. What I'm doing isn't wrong if I don't think it's wrong, right? No. Just because my head decides sin is no longer sin does not change the definition of sin. Just because sin doesn't bother me doesn't mean sin has lost it's power to destroy me. Sin is not meant to become a warm comforting blanket. It meant to be seen as an intruder.

Genesis 4 tells of the first murder in the bible with Cain killing his brother Abel. Prior to Abel's murder, God warned Cain. In verse 7 God says to him "'You will be accepted if you do what is right. But if you refuse to do what is right, then watch out! Sin is crouching at the door, eager to control you. But you must subdue it and be its master.”' The word crouching in Hebrew is "rabats", (pronounced ra-vats) meaning to stretch out, recline, crouch; on all four legs folded, like a recumbent animal. Sin waits like a recumbent animal. It looks non threatening and even approachable. It poses as harmless. However, the closer we get... The closer we move towards it the easier it is to overtake us.

In Psalm 139:23-24 King David writes a practical solution. "Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life." Simply, don't be afraid to ask God to show us if what we're doing or about to do is wrong. Ask God to expose the areas we need change. This isn't meant in a religious way that brings paranoia, but in a spirit led way. A way that brings us to deeper levels of freedom, as we distance ourselves from sin and remove any festering in our lives.

I know it can be a scary concept to ask God to show us our wrongs. It immediately brings to mind those false teachings of an angry God pointing His holy finger down on me. God's fire and brimstone is just waiting for me to mess up. Please remember, He is as much a Holy God as He is a Holy Father. Anything God reveals to us is filtered through love because God is love. (1 John 4:8) I believe He also only exposes what we can handle so that we don't collapse under it's weight. Colossians 3:21 says, 'Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so that they will not lose heart. ' Although this references earthly fathers, God knows how to correct us in a way that doesn't break us. You can trust that inviting Him to search your heart will never be a mistake.